FROM THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR

By Natalia Ely

Reflecting on life and the vast spectrum of human personalities, I’ve come to see that—regardless of whether someone leans toward optimism or pessimism—deep down, we all long for the same thing: a meaningful, fulfilling life. We all carry hopes and dreams. And most of us, in our own ways, are doing the best we can with the level of consciousness we have.

But what happens when life doesn’t go according to plan—even when you’re doing everything “right”?

When mindset isn’t enough

For those who lean toward a more negative or anxious mindset, setbacks often feel like confirmation of what they already feared. There’s a resignation to disappointment—an unconscious belief that happiness or success might never truly be attainable. Over time, this creates a cycle: the outer world mirrors the inner belief that “better” is out of reach.

For those with a more positive mindset, setbacks are usually seen as temporary. They are stepping stones, not dead ends. A positive thinker trusts that things will improve, even in the face of hardship.

But regardless of your mindset, there is a place we can all end up—a place where none of that matters anymore. A place so heavy and disorienting that even the strongest spiritual tools feel powerless.

The descent into despair

This is the place of deep despair.

It’s a state where nothing makes sense anymore. Affirmations fall flat. Meditation feels empty. Healing practices seem futile. You feel lost, disoriented, and overwhelmed.

You begin to question everything:

• What did I do wrong?

• How did I end up here?

• Why is this happening, even though I’ve done the inner work?

And perhaps the most painful question of all:

• If I create my reality based on unconscious beliefs, what part of me created this suffering?

This awareness—although empowering in theory—can be excruciating in practice. Even when you believe you’re walking your soul’s path, suffering can hit so deeply that it causes you to doubt everything you thought you knew.

Jung, Shadow, and the Ego Death

Carl Jung referred to this experience as the “Night Sea Journey” or “Ego Death.” It’s not a physical death, but a symbolic one—a profound unraveling of who you thought you were. This often happens during periods of deep psychological crisis.

In Jungian psychology, such periods can lead to a reordering of the psyche, a process that brings hidden parts of yourself—your Shadow—into awareness. It can be terrifying. But it can also be transformative.

Jung believed that true healing comes not from denying or fixing these shadow aspects, but from integrating them. It is only by acknowledging and embracing what we’ve repressed that we become whole.

Peterson: Order, Chaos & Responsibility

Jordan Peterson adds another powerful layer to this conversation. He teaches that a meaningful life is found by balancing order and chaos—keeping one foot in the known, and the other in the unknown. Life will always be unpredictable. But it’s within the uncertainty that potential and transformation are born.

Peterson also emphasizes personal responsibility, not in a shaming way, but as a gateway to reclaiming your agency. When you take ownership of your life, even in despair, you’re no longer a passive observer. You become the author of your story.

That said—this doesn’t mean you can bypass pain. It means you can hold space for it and still move forward.

A Rebirth in Disguise

I’ve come to find peace in these ideas.

Because when you’re in that rabbit hole of despair, it can feel like death. And in a way, it is. You’re letting go of old parts of yourself, outdated beliefs, protective mechanisms, and illusions. It’s painful, messy, and disorienting—but it’s also sacred.

This is not your end. This is a rebirth in disguise.

We all have a soul mission. Even in the most unbearable moments, we’re still choosing to be here. That choice means something. That choice is strength.

Transformation is never neat. It’s not linear. It doesn’t always feel “high vibe.” But it is real. And even in your darkest moments, please remember:

• This too shall pass.

• You are not alone.

• Your healing is still happening, even when you can’t see it.

• If your soul chose this path, it’s because there is deep wisdom and healing waiting to unfold.

So if you find yourself in that space right now—at the bottom of the well—just breathe.Let go of the pressure to be okay.And trust:There’s hope ahead.

During these times of despair, it can feel like nothing is helping — even the practices we once trusted. But I’ve found that kinesiology is often most powerful during these very moments. Because it bypasses the logical mind and works directly with the body’s innate intelligence, it can gently guide you back to balance when you feel completely disconnected. You don’t have to figure it all out — your body already knows what it needs to heal.